Part II: How to Find a Good Husband
“Where have all the good men gone and
Where are all the gods
Where’s the streetwise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight
Upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn
And I dream of what I need...”
(Bonnie Tyler, 1984, Footloose)
All healthy young women dream of a hero they can love, and who loves her. This is a natural and sweet impulse, but for some reason, it appears that it has become more difficult than ever to find this hero in the world. Young people often have a tendency to exaggerate their challenges in comparison to their ancestors, but in this case there is no exaggeration. It is much more difficult to find good men and good women today to marry.
This is due to a variety of reasons. First, public spaces are no longer as safe or as accessible to the ordinary person. “Third places” in the western world are overrun with crime and danger to much greater degrees than in the past because of politics that have degenerated the standards of crime and punishment. Many third places and places of common meeting have become obsolete because of technology that increasingly isolates each of us into our own little digital cloisters. Human contact has increasingly become optional for a wide range of activities. You no longer need to go to a library to look something up. You no longer need to meet your friends and colleagues in person. You no longer need to go to physical stores to buy things. Modern technology has altered social infrastructure to increase convenience at the cost of human contact.
Nevertheless, we must adapt to our times, and make the best of what we have at present. This is the only alternative to giving up entirely, which is never an option for winners. We cannot leave everything up to fate; if we truly want to accomplish something important, we must make a thorough and well thought out plan. Why should it be any different for finding a husband? This is serious business and for most of history, it was taken very seriously indeed!
Depending on where you are in life, your culture, country, age and personality, you would need different kinds of advice about where and how you will most likely find a husband, a hero, the kind that you can admire, respect and adore. I have outlined the qualities of a good husband in a previous article already, which you can read here. Despite the idiosyncrasies of different women, there are some generalities that apply to everyone and this is what I describe and explain in this essay. Doing these things will certainly increase your likelihood of meeting your hero, but remember that there is a bit of faith and divine intervention involved in this process as well, which we do not control.
What are my credentials? I have found a husband. Granted, I have only found one, but I have a feeling my advice would become less valuable had I found more than one. I also have many friends and relatives who have found one husband, and I have noticed some very interesting and valuable patterns between all of their “how we met” stories.
